An engrossing exploration of a hard but ultimately exhilarating trek toward love and commitment.



A member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints confronts her misgivings about marriage on her globe-trotting honeymoon in this soulful debut memoir.

Rueckert writes of feeling a conflict between her church’s characterization of marriage and motherhood as a woman’s highest calling and her own desire to teach, write, and see the world. Compounding her anxiety were the example of her parents’ divorce and a giddy college romance that ended, leaving her devastated. Then she met Austin, a member of her faith who was supportive of her career aspirations; she married him in 2014, when she was 25, and the two embarked on a monthslong tour through South America, Asia, and Europe. The trip threw them into trying circumstances as they weathered squalid hostels, border-crossing snafus, money issues, and even an attack by a pack of wild dogs in Peru. Their accommodations to each other were also difficult, as Rueckert’s cautious, fretful temperament chafed against Austin’s adventurous, impulsive personality. Along the way, the author surveyed the marital wisdom of everybody from the Karen people of Thailand to her Hindu acquaintances in Bangalore. The journey culminated in a grueling 500-mile pilgrimage to Santiago de Compostela that also featured warm camaraderie with other pilgrims. Intertwined with these narratives are the author’s recollections of her family—including her fraught relationship with her mother—and the courtship culture of her church. Over the course of the book, Rueckert’s reminiscences present readers with an evocative travelogue and a remarkably sensitive and insightful portrait of the difficulties of modern marriage and the compromises that one makes to feel both autonomy and connection. Her scenes of marital discord, in particular, crackle with barely restrained emotion: “We ate in perfect silence. I stared at the table….‘You don’t inspire me anymore,’ I said, the words reverberating like a bomb. I waited a heartbeat, maybe two. ‘I’m not happy.’ ” It’s a sometimes-harsh, unsparing account of a rocky beginning, but Rueckert’s grappling with uncertainty yields courage and a luminous sense of hope.

An engrossing exploration of a hard but ultimately exhilarating trek toward love and commitment.

Pub Date: Nov. 15, 2022

ISBN: 978-1-948218-63-4

Page Count: 344

Publisher: By Common Consent Press

Review Posted Online: Sept. 30, 2022

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Dec. 1, 2022

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The heartbreaking story of an emotionally battered child delivered with captivating candor and grace.

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The former iCarly star reflects on her difficult childhood.

In her debut memoir, titled after her 2020 one-woman show, singer and actor McCurdy (b. 1992) reveals the raw details of what she describes as years of emotional abuse at the hands of her demanding, emotionally unstable stage mom, Debra. Born in Los Angeles, the author, along with three older brothers, grew up in a home controlled by her mother. When McCurdy was 3, her mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. Though she initially survived, the disease’s recurrence would ultimately take her life when the author was 21. McCurdy candidly reconstructs those in-between years, showing how “my mom emotionally, mentally, and physically abused me in ways that will forever impact me.” Insistent on molding her only daughter into “Mommy’s little actress,” Debra shuffled her to auditions beginning at age 6. As she matured and starting booking acting gigs, McCurdy remained “desperate to impress Mom,” while Debra became increasingly obsessive about her daughter’s physical appearance. She tinted her daughter’s eyelashes, whitened her teeth, enforced a tightly monitored regimen of “calorie restriction,” and performed regular genital exams on her as a teenager. Eventually, the author grew understandably resentful and tried to distance herself from her mother. As a young celebrity, however, McCurdy became vulnerable to eating disorders, alcohol addiction, self-loathing, and unstable relationships. Throughout the book, she honestly portrays Debra’s cruel perfectionist personality and abusive behavior patterns, showing a woman who could get enraged by everything from crooked eyeliner to spilled milk. At the same time, McCurdy exhibits compassion for her deeply flawed mother. Late in the book, she shares a crushing secret her father revealed to her as an adult. While McCurdy didn’t emerge from her childhood unscathed, she’s managed to spin her harrowing experience into a sold-out stage act and achieve a form of catharsis that puts her mind, body, and acting career at peace.

The heartbreaking story of an emotionally battered child delivered with captivating candor and grace.

Pub Date: Aug. 9, 2022

ISBN: 978-1-982185-82-4

Page Count: 320

Publisher: Simon & Schuster

Review Posted Online: May 31, 2022

Kirkus Reviews Issue: July 1, 2022

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A blissfully vicarious, heartfelt glimpse into the life of a Manhattan burlesque dancer.


A former New York City dancer reflects on her zesty heyday in the 1970s.

Discovered on a Manhattan street in 2020 and introduced on Stanton’s Humans of New York Instagram page, Johnson, then 76, shares her dynamic history as a “fiercely independent” Black burlesque dancer who used the stage name Tanqueray and became a celebrated fixture in midtown adult theaters. “I was the only black girl making white girl money,” she boasts, telling a vibrant story about sex and struggle in a bygone era. Frank and unapologetic, Johnson vividly captures aspects of her former life as a stage seductress shimmying to blues tracks during 18-minute sets or sewing lingerie for plus-sized dancers. Though her work was far from the Broadway shows she dreamed about, it eventually became all about the nightly hustle to simply survive. Her anecdotes are humorous, heartfelt, and supremely captivating, recounted with the passion of a true survivor and the acerbic wit of a weathered, street-wise New Yorker. She shares stories of growing up in an abusive household in Albany in the 1940s, a teenage pregnancy, and prison time for robbery as nonchalantly as she recalls selling rhinestone G-strings to prostitutes to make them sparkle in the headlights of passing cars. Complemented by an array of revealing personal photographs, the narrative alternates between heartfelt nostalgia about the seedier side of Manhattan’s go-go scene and funny quips about her unconventional stage performances. Encounters with a variety of hardworking dancers, drag queens, and pimps, plus an account of the complexities of a first love with a drug-addled hustler, fill out the memoir with personality and candor. With a narrative assist from Stanton, the result is a consistently titillating and often moving story of human struggle as well as an insider glimpse into the days when Times Square was considered the Big Apple’s gloriously unpolished underbelly. The book also includes Yee’s lush watercolor illustrations.

A blissfully vicarious, heartfelt glimpse into the life of a Manhattan burlesque dancer.

Pub Date: July 12, 2022

ISBN: 978-1-250-27827-2

Page Count: 192

Publisher: St. Martin's

Review Posted Online: July 28, 2022

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